by Randall S. Frederick

Maybe a better title should be “How to Talk About Israel, Palestine, Gaza, and Rafah (A Primer for Those Who Have Never Been ‘Over There’)”, given how many people are speaking about these locations as though they are synonymous. They are not.

The current conflict between Israel and Gaza is a deeply sensitive and emotional subject that has stirred concern around the world. Our hearts ache for those people involved, and as compassionate humans we naturally want to share our thoughts and feelings with those around us. Thus, this is an issue that is finding its way into workplace discussions, and that can create an environment that requires careful handling to maintain harmony and respect among coworkers.

How can leaders help team members talk about a tragic event such as the current Israeli-Palestinian conflict in Gaza while emphasizing the need for polite and empathetic discourse? By recognizing a few things.

Avoid Stereotypes and Generalizations
It’s essential to steer clear of stereotypes and generalizations when discussing any conflict. Geopolitical crises are often nuanced, and all sides have a wide range of opinions. Generalizations can lead to misunderstanding and resentment, hindering constructive dialogue.

For Example, Not All Jews Are Zionists
One of the greatest mischaracterizations of the Jewish people is that they are all “Zionists”. Unfortunately, this term is hotly debated to the point of no longer understanding what it means. When the State of Israel was created, many (many) Jews across the world expressed grave reservations about a “Jewish state.” They felt that such a nation would only be a holding pen, a prison, for every other nation that wanted to evict, deport, or otherwise ship out and ship off the Jewish people who had families, work, and culture spread out across the globe. This concern was especially pronounced after World War II, when Jews were forced into ghettoes and camps in Europe and lived protracted, fearful lives in America. So the belief that all Jews, worldwide, are secretly plotting to support the small nation of Israel and are willing to die in support of this nation is not only false, but it has never been true. Jews are still very divided on the purpose and politics of the Israeli government, even more so on the role of religious leaders weaponizing the courts and legal system of “their” country. They are especially divided about the activities of the Israeli military under the current political leadership of Benjamin Netanyahu.

For Example, Many Americans Want to Escalate a War
Related, many Americans – particularly Evangelicals – want to see the escalation of tensions, plural, in Israel. They believe every new politician and every use of military force by the Israeli government is proof of passages in the Bible. They feel, having never been to Israel, having no understanding of the geography, and with no understanding of the current cultural and political tension, that they have a vested interest in seeing Israel “annihilate” their “enemies.” Of course, Evangelicals are not the only ones who frame longstanding tensions in the Middle East in terms of “negotiable loss” and “collateral damage.” Republicans have insisted that the nation of Israel is America’s “only” friend in the Middle East, when what they really mean is that Israel needs American funding for military operations and, in turn, America has a sympathetic ally to negotiate oil prices. Republicans, apart from Evangelicals, have a sustained profit motive in arming Israel. This is not a new effort. America funded Afghanistan in the Seventies and Eighties for the same reason and then secured military bases in Israel, Afghanistan, Kuwait, and Saudi Arabia to establish a foothold in the region beyond Israel. Many Americans have pledged their support to Israel under a false pretense of geopolitical allyship, when what they really mean is they have pledged their support to sustain access to resources to secure their profit motives.

Reach Out to Anyone Who Might Be Impacted
There is nothing wrong with showing compassion, even if you are confused. It is okay to be proactive in reaching out to those who you know have been affected by recent events. Even if you aren’t sure they are affected, it’s never inappropriate to send a text (“How are you doing with the news this week?”) or make a call to let someone know you are thinking about them and hope they are okay.

Ask and Listen, Rather Than Speak from Inexperience
Recently, I ordered a book from a local bookseller whose store I have frequented for over a decade. I knew her son was in Israel on October 7th and asked how she was doing “with all this.” I asked if her son was safe. When she shared, I listened. The important thing wasn’t asserting what (I thought) I understood or asking questions about politics and religion. I only wanted to know what how she was doing, how her family was doing, and if her son was safe. The next time we were in the store, she was so moved that I had even asked. It had been a month by that point, and she said I was one of the only people who came in and asked about her son. While there are many things about the conflict in Israel that I do not understand, this is a tough time and allowing people to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences is absolutely essential to showing someone you care.

For Example, Be An Example Of A Uniter
Emotions might run high when discussing a crisis such as this. It’s important to acknowledge and respect the emotions of those involved in the conversation. Empathize with their feelings and experiences. As a leader, stay calm and composed and avoid aggressive language. Let people know you hear them and understand why they feel so strongly. Instead of being divided, fall back on commonality of our concern for fellow humans. Compassion is always the best approach.

For Example, Choose the Right Time and Place
Approaching any sensitive topic requires a thoughtful consideration of timing and location. The workplace (like the bookstore!) may not be the best setting for such discussions if the talk escalates into disagreements. It is absolutely essential that people have time and space to engage in important conversations, even privately where they can “be themselves.” Inviting people to a drink after work where you can give them a meaningful amount of time to listen and share with one another is one possibility.

Educate Yourself
Before engaging in a discussion, it’s important to educate yourself about the conflict. It is no one else’s responsibility to educate you. Try to learn about the historical background of the region and the current state of affairs. This knowledge will help you contribute meaningfully to the conversation and ensure your viewpoints are well-informed.

For Example, Read Books and Articles
I’ve been juggling several books lately like Deborah Esther Lipstadt’s “Antisemitism: Here and Now” about anti-Jewish sentiment in Europe and America, Rashid Khalidi’s “The Hundred Years War on Palestine”, and Martin Bunton’s “The Palestinian-Israeli Conflict: A Very Short Introduction”.

For Example, Watch Documentaries
In the daily news cycle, it can be a lot to process decades of unrest in two minutes. To truly understand what is happening, you will want to see images of the region (hopefully, when the region is not bombed out and children are not missing limbs) and hear thought leaders put things in context (instead of pundits clicking their tongues and shaking their head with a sly “Yeah, but whatareyougonnado right?” before smiling and tossing to the next segment).

Embrace the Wide Diversity of Perspectives
Several years ago, author and educator Stephen Prothero made waves with his book Religious Literacy at the height of the war in Afghanistan. Anti-Muslim attitudes were at a fever high and many religious and political leaders were calling for tolerance. A tolerance, Prothero noted, that showed disrespect to religion and politics. It was essential, he argued, to hear the sharp and uncomfortable parts of religion and culture. It was a disservice to everyone when we sanitize religions and cultures with the argument that “we all believe the same things, essentially”, as much an insult as erasing history by shrugging it away. Being polite does no one any good if we ignore diversity and differences. Our differences are still meaningful, even if they are uncomfortable.

For Example, Use “I” Statements
To express opinions and experiences effectively, use “I” statements. For example, say, “I feel concerned about the situation in Gaza because …” instead of making accusatory statements. This approach makes the conversation more about your personal perspective and less confrontational.

For Example, Agree to Disagree
Not all conflicts can be resolved in a single conversation. Sometimes, people may hold deeply ingrained beliefs that are difficult to change. Sometimes, people may hold views that are clarifying once we actually hear them expressed. It is okay to “agree to disagree” and recognize that different perspectives exist. The goal is not to convert others but to foster understanding. Sometimes, the best way to end a stalemate is to take a deep breath and express that you want to think about what someone said or shared, “and let’s pick this up again next time.”

Discussing the conflict in Gaza with coworkers can be challenging, but it’s possible to do so with more compassion. By choosing the right time and place, educating yourself, practicing active listening, avoiding stereotypes, respecting emotions, and staying calm and respectful, you can contribute to constructive dialogues that promote understanding and empathy even in the face of the most sensitive of subjects.